Review - "Cities of the Underworld": Season 1

 

English, Dolores Gavin (executive producer), Cities of the Underworld (2009), Authentic Entertainment Inc./Thirty Four Productions, LLC./Australian Broadcasting Corporation

This is a History Channel production. I offer this as a caveat before launching into this review.

The History Channel has a tendency to dumb down everything they present: all of their information is delivered with a roll of drums over their photo montages; a hard rock guitar riff as the camera pans around; that computer–generated “ka-choof” sound as a new revelation is revealed; and that tired old eagle-scream as we switch to a new gob-smacking vista. All I’m saying is, there’s a formula to this; you need to get past it to reap any benefits.

It doesn’t help that the host – at least for the first eight episodes of this season – is a bald, moustachioed, World Wrestling Federation wannabe who acts as though he’s trying to devour the scenery. He’s the medium through which we absorb the facts of this series and all I can say is that I feel sorry for the experts that he intimidates along the way. I mean seriously: if body language speaks volumes, these people were wondering if they’d had a close encounter with a Neanderthal.

Not to belittle Eric Geller at all; it’s just that his enthusiasm, and his propensity to blurt out whatever is on the tip of his brain at any point in time is a tad mortifying; especially when there’s a card-carrying authority figure standing next to him nodding and saying “yes: it’s a Roman brick” like they’re communicating with a six-year old, whilst thinking if there’s a way to back out of this situation. In a sense, it’s gratifying to be part of an audience that’s squirming in synch with an archaeological community justifying itself to the lowest common denominator.

And what is it with toilets? In every episode, Eric finds the loo; and has some low-brow fun with it. Being an American, the fact that he even uses the word “toilet” seems wrong and I found myself cringing in every episode and hoping that the worst would pass swiftly. In the second Roman episode we have to endure him squatting and pantomiming a Latin khazi – I mean, seriously? Has infotainment sunk this low?

And Nazis. The more times you can chew up and spit out the word “Nazi” the better, it seems.

Once we hit New York, the guest archaeologists and guardians of the nether spaces begin to relate cordially to Eric and his chutzpah. Unfortunately, the things they show us are lame. Ever since Robin Hobb gave us The Wizard of the Pigeons we’ve known of the New York underground, and this micro-flash of FDR’s secret train station was a safe and disposable insight into an underworld landscape that has so much more than this to offer. I mean, we’ve all seen “Mimic”, right? Given that the episode ends with a teary-eyed paean to the heroism of 9/11, I spent the second half rolling my eyes a lot, so maybe I simply missed the good bits.

After New York we’re hosted by the darkly empathic Don Wildman who, it seems, has to lumber in the footstep of the previously erstwhile Eric. Inheriting the wardrobe, Don rushes to deliver the walk-by monologues that Eric had no trouble venting, whilst barrelling through all those annoying pedestrians. And he even seems out of breath as he does so. I was initially concerned that the handover to this new, less physically-capable host would be somehow less fulfilling; then I had my head read. If anything, Don is just as able as Eric, but with more hair (on the top of his head; although ‘unshaven’ seems to be a feature).

(Weirdly, I find myself wondering if Eric jumped, or if he was pushed? When Don shows up I have this distinct sense that he’s been marketed to promote a greater audience rapport, and so I automatically have this antipathy towards him. It’s a quandary.)

Let’s get down to it: there are a lot of things that make this show worthwhile; the drawback is that you have to watch it. It’s like drawing teeth: there are benefits along with the pain. It’s how the show is couched that is problematic (involving the complete re-cap of everything you’ve seen previously, after every scripted ad break – even on DVD) and, if you can rise above this, there is much to be gained. The episode about Edinburgh was fascinating, as was the Budapest instalment. The information about Paris indirectly brings heaps to bear about the various fictional Mythos authors who were working there. In terms of the Mythos it’s always “location, location, location” and this show talks about all of those parts of the world’s cities that we’re interested in.

It is, at the end of the day, a gloss. However, it’s a solid gloss and there are many goodies to be extracted. You can laugh at Eric and Don and wish them the best in their future careers; then use their revelations as a jumping-off point for your own gaming, or writing, with a clear conscience. I’m pretty sure that they won’t mind.

Two-and-a-half tentacled horrors.