The
creature which now dominated the front yard was about twenty feet tall. It was
roughly conical with skin like a jaundiced albino elephant. From the cone’s
apex four tentacles sprouted: two of them terminated in orange nippers, like
crab claws; another ended in a kind of four-barrelled reddish trumpet; the last
supported a sphere with three large eyes spaced equally around it, topped by
some antennae-looking sprouts and encircled by a myriad finger-like tentacles
at its base. This last feature loomed down over me, regarding me closely.
‘I
am the One Who Has Come.’ Its voice didn’t so much disturb the atmosphere as it
just appeared in my head, bypassing my ears altogether. I winced: I’d had
enough of telepaths to last me a lifetime. I tapped a cigarette out of its
packet and lit it up.
‘You
certainly have done that,’ I said, ‘I guess a welcome is in order.’
The
eyestalk swayed back and forth, the eyes dodged around frenetically, taking in
the surroundings. It swung back over me once more.
‘The
atmosphere here is Vewwy Disagweeable,’ it intoned, with audible capitals.
I
coughed, surprised. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said, catching my breath, ‘but since when
does a telepath talk like Tweety?’
The
eyestalk reared back, looking at me askance. ‘The Question is meaningwess,’ the
voice came, ‘pwease wephwase the quewy.’
I
drew deeply on my smoke and squinted up through the rain. ‘Forget it,’ I said,
‘doesn’t matter. What does matter is what you’re doing here?’
The
two nipper-tentacles writhed momentarily, and I noticed that each was adorned
with about fifteen large metal rings, like golden bangles.
‘I
have come to Enact the Twansaction,’ said the One, ‘as outwined in the Pwevious
Agweement.’
I
blew smoke sideways into the rain. ‘That’s all very well,’ I answered, ‘but
since I wasn’t present for the Previous Agreement, what say you tell me what it
was?’
The
huge eyes loomed close again. ‘You don’t Know?’ came the voice in my head.
‘Sadly,
no’ I said, ‘they don’t always tell me everything.’
‘That
is Most Vexing. The Agweement was made excwusivewy to your kind; surewy you all
share such information amongst yoursewves?’
‘Perhaps
I just missed the memo,’ I said, ‘in the meantime, why don’t you bring me up to
speed?’
‘How
do I know this is not Some Kind of Wuse?’ The central eye stared hard, its iris
quivering intently.
I
rubbed my chin, thinking. ‘I promise it isn’t...?’ I offered, lamely I thought.
The
bracelets on the clawed tentacles jingled as they rose upwards and crossed over
the front of the conical body. The eye-adorned sphere tipped sideways while its
tentacle-fingers wriggled.
‘Well,’
the One finally said, ‘since A Pwomise is made, I must surewy be able to pwace
Twust in you.’
What
a chump, I thought... and then remembered I was dealing with a telepath. ‘So
what was this deal?’ I went on hurriedly.
‘In
Exchange for these Wings of Specified Metal,’ the One intoned, ‘The
Wepwesentative was to dewiver to me a Certain Stone.’
‘Why
am I not surprised?’ I muttered. I flicked away my cigarette butt. ‘What’s the
deal with this stone?’ I asked, ‘I mean: why is it so important?’
The
huge eyes drifted down over me, regarding me sternly. ‘It holds Gweat Power,’
the voice boomed across my cortex, ‘such Power the Keeping of which is Inappwopwiate
for Your Kind.’
‘Don’t
think we’re up to it, huh?’ My dander was rising.
‘Demonstwabwy
not,’ the One continued, oblivious to his diplomatic slip, ‘It Behoves Us to
Wewieve you of It for your Own Good.’
I
narrowed my gaze. ‘What makes it so dangerous?’ I asked. ‘Is there something
written on it, carved into it? Is it radioactive?’
The
giant eyes blinked and one of the tentacle claws made a dismissive gesture.
‘No,’ came the voice, ‘it is That Which Is Within that is Deadwy. If it is not
Secured at This Time, it will be Activated and that will cause Vawious
Disturbances in the Timewines, which will be Anathema to Our Schemes. Ours
and...Others.’
I
helped myself to another cigarette while taking this onboard. ‘The bottom line,
One,’ I said, breathing smoke, ‘Is that I don’t have the stone. Someone else
does, and they are the One Who Made This Deal With You.’ (Ye gods and little
fishes! I thought: it’s got me doing it now!) ‘Can you recall who it was you
talked with before? Their name? What they looked like?’
The
One made a gesture which I interpreted as its version of a shrug. ‘I’m not
sure,’ it said, ‘your Names are incompwehensible to me and you all Wook the
Same. Hetewogeneity of Appeawance is something Your Kind has obviouswy not identified
as an Ideal...’
‘Alright,
alright,’ I cut it off. ‘Look: I’ll find this stone and I’ll destroy it for
you, if that’s of any help. I’ve been on the trail of it for a day or so now,
and I’m sure to turn it up somewhere. Will that be acceptable to you? Me,
getting rid of the damned thing?’
It
pondered momentarily, wriggling its short tentacle fingers. ‘If it is Destwoyed
within a wewativewy short Time Fwame, its Impact upon the Timewines will be
Negwigible, especiawwy in This Wocale. However, you must twy to see The Stone
Destwoyed without actuawwy doing so Yoursewf: it is Certain Doom otherwise.’
‘Make
sure the deed is done, without doing it myself?’
‘Cowwect.’
The One raised its tentacles into the air, except for one of the pincer arms.
This was lowered claw-first to the mown grass where it shook itself gently. The
metallic rings tumbled off the arm onto the lawn in a ringing pile.
‘This
is half the Fee Discussed,’ said the One, ‘The Wemainder will be Given To You
when the Deed Is Accompwished.’
I
pushed my hat back off my forehead. ‘I’m mighty obliged,’ I said.
Then
the One gathered all of its limbs together like some kind of sea creature
closing up for the day. ‘I now Take My Weave,’ it said.
Suddenly,
the air pulsed again, like a wave passing by when you’re standing in the water
offshore; only not as pleasant. Where the One had been there was now only an
annoying afterimage that slowly faded from view. I shook my head and rubbed my
eyes. When I looked up again, the Opener was busy disassembling the gizmo he
had built and was placing the parts swiftly and dextrously back into the black
plastic trunk. When he had finished, he snapped the lid shut and picked it up
by the handle on one end, bringing the wheels on the other end into play.
I
finished smoking and flicked the butt away.
‘So,
this is what you do, huh? Stage appearances for time-travelling aliens?’ I
asked as he began trundling away.
‘It’s
a Living,’ he beamed.
To
Be Continued...
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