Last
Friday I went down to Sydney to see the current exhibition on the life of
Alexander the Great at the Australian Museum. I hadn’t actually heard that this
was showing, living out in the boondocks as I do, but any excuse to go and
sniff around the institution that holds the Cthulhu idol taken from the SS. Alert will do me (seriously, it’s
right there in “The Call of Cthulhu”,
although the place is no longer called the “Sydney Museum”).
An
early start and two hours on the train saw me on the steps of the Museum
waiting for the rest of my party to arrive. An encounter with a particularly
officious and over-zealous volunteer put me in a bad mood that wasn’t going to
get any better without caffeine so, being barred from entering the Museum Cafe
(despite signs clearly stating that I could come and go from there as I chose)
I mooched around the corner to Stanley Street and sank a scalding long black to
get my head straight. Back at the Museum, my friends had beaten the volunteer
into a retreat and we were finally allowed access.
In
the past, exhibitions at this place have always struck me as being too eagerly
targeted towards children (“our future
benefactors!”). Displays have usually been arranged on plinths set way too
low for the average adult, and the information provided has been dumbed-down to
a sixth-grade reading level: “see the
Incas”; “see the Incas run”; “see the Incas die horribly from imported Spanish
smallpox”. To my satisfaction, this time things were different. After all,
this was a display of the collection of the Heritage Museum of St. Petersburg,
and it was good to see it getting the approach it deserved.
Alexander
has copped varying press over the years – sometimes he’s “Great”; sometimes
he’s anything but. At the moment, he’s going through an image renovation, but
there is still a big faction of people out there who think of him as “Alexander
the Not-All-That”. This exhibition plumbs the depths of his media hype (by
means of Lysippus the sculptor, for one) and the poison pens of later historians
and current film-makers. There were fascinating things to see – many of them
famous in their own right, like the Gonzaga cameo which graced the cover of my
Ancient History textbook in school and which hit me with a fair degree of
startling recollection.
However,
these shows bring out my curmudgeonly side. I understand that children have
different attention spans and needs at these events; there’s a level of
comprehension and understanding that’s required to really reap the benefits of
such a showing. I understand this. Do
most parents out there? No. Not if
this experiment was anything to go by. It bewilders me to watch children
carrying on like pork chops while their owners stand idly by muttering futile
things like “now now, Tarquin”, or “be still, Jocasta”. I watched a
six–or-seven-year-old boy banging violently on a glass case while screaming “this is BORING!” and all his mother
could do was to murmur, “hush Tommy: Mummy’s trying to look”. Seriously: if I
had carried on like that at his age, I wouldn’t be alive to write this today.
What
is it about this post-Slap, hands-off,
time out, “I’m going to count to five” parenting style nowadays, that says
children mustn’t be taught good manners? This wasn’t the only badly-behaved kid
present by any stretch of the imagination; in fact they were in the majority.
It’s as if parents have developed a gulf between themselves and the children:
monitoring them and controlling them has somehow become someone else’s duty and
responsibility. And I’m not talking about corporal punishment either: the two
kids who were part of our team were
perfectly well-behaved and interested, and only because we adults had bothered
to engage with them and not treat
them like an annoyance interrupting our day’s activity. Anyway, it was all enough
for me to go, “you know what? I’m just going to buy the exhibition catalogue in
the Museum shop and forget about trying to see it first-hand.”
Take
my advice and take a day off work mid-week, outside of school holidays, to go
and see this: you’ll save yourself a huge headache.
Not
that there weren’t any bad-mannered grown-ups there either (and by that I mean apart from the children’s parents, who
by default and their culpability are understood
to be bad-mannered). There was a wheelchair-bound woman who, I swear, if she
ran over my foot one more time while cutting in front of me, was going to get a
clip around the ear. People: not only stupider and more pig-ignorant than you
imagine, but stupider and more pig-ignorant than you can imagine.
Inevitably,
I left this Sartre-an vision of Hell, and went upstairs to chill out with the
dinosaurs. Here too, there was an excess of intemperate, badly-behaved little
oiks and their ‘minders’ (so-called), but at least they were more spread out.
The Museum staff have (wisely, in my opinion) set up a little cafe on this
floor and, inevitably – because noise levels were much diminished beyond its
portal – I drifted inside. To my instant delight, I found that there was a
Charles Addams exhibition in progress here, care of the Tee and Charles Addams Foundation. This was more like it: coffee,
no brats or whingeing adults and the artwork of Addams the Great!
As
a kid, much to the mortification of my parents, I was a great and instant fan
of the Addams Family. Not the TV show (although I loved that too), but the
cartoons: my grandparents had a copy of a Chas Addams collection of strips from
the New Yorker and I would thoroughly
enjoy leafing through it. It had just the right twisted quirkiness, coupled
with playful impishness to appeal to me. Frustratingly, the book would vanish
for long periods of time only to be discovered again in odd corners of the house;
nowadays, I recognise this as an effort by my carers to limit my exposure.
Ironically, it only served to increase my interest.
The
fun part of Addams’ work is that it’s often very subtle; unless you are quick
to spot the strangeness, it can slip by completely unnoticed. On display at the
Museum was one of my favourite cartoons entitled “Planetarium”: unusually, for Addams, this is a strip rather than a
single panel. The audience at the planetarium enter and sit down; they watch
attentively as the lights dim and the ‘stars’ emerge; an image of the moon
appears, waxes full and then wanes to a crescent before the lights come up and
everyone walks out. If you don’t look closely, it doesn’t make much sense; if
you do, you see the little man in the second row break into a sweat and
transform into a horrible creature as the ‘moon’ grows and diminishes, before
resuming his natural state and leaving with the rest of the crowd. Like the
un-careful viewer, they miss the transformation too.
I’d
seen most of these images before but it was a delight to see the originals in
close up. I never realised that much of the white space in a typical Addams
cartoon is highlighted with white ink and that this medium is often used for
correcting errors in inking the final work. I mean, it’s only logical when you
think of it, but since Addams is, like, a god to me, I’d just assumed that his
works sprang fully-formed from his brow, as Athena did from Zeus’s.
The
inky blackness of the typical cartoon is not a uniform shade either, as many of
the New Yorker reprintings imply.
Rather, there is a subtlety and gradation in the monochrome ink washes that
lends the works depth and dimension. It’s kind of like seeing the original of a
favourite print and realising that there are brush strokes visible on the
canvas that can’t be discerned in the reproduction.
Ironically,
viewing all these stodgy bankers, their wives and their Boy Scout offspring
falling victim to the freaky Addams Outsiders made me think more intensely of
the bad-mannered families below in the main exhibition: I could imagine some of
them encountering their come-uppance in the form of a grinning Uncle Fester spawned
machination some day! (Not that I would wish something like this on anybody.
Not really. Except maybe Tommy...)
All-in-all,
much as I enjoyed the displays (not the experience)
of the Alexander exhibition, this was
the highlight of the day for me and I left the ‘Repository of the R’lyeh Idol’
(ie. the Australian Museum) with a sense of completeness and well-being.
Oh,
and the Alexander catalogue!
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